New Year, New Understanding from a Self Compassion Point of View
I know we're already in February 2025 but I still feel like it's the starting of 2025. It is still the New Year and I am excited to see what this year will bring. I hope you are too!
Going through Menopause is certainly a challenging time in our lives. Some of us experience more physical symptoms, some others experience more mental symptoms and some of us experience a good deal of both. One thing is for sure, every woman experiences Menopause in their own unique way and with various degrees of intensity. In my case I went through many challenges during the years in my perimenopause journey. At the beginning of perimenopause, which I cannot pinpoint exactly when that was, I felt vey lost and lonely. Trying to figure out exactly what was happening to me and thinking that I was having a very serious condition of some sort, I felt like my family doctors were not listening to me and I felt hopeless. It was when I had turned 50 when I was so desperate that I went on a mission to find a Naturopath Doctor who could listen to me and hopefully, someone who could start supporting me in those difficult moments. Fortunately, I found a great Naturopath who was very kind and compassionate and who mentioned to me that my symptoms pointed out to those of perimenopause. For the first time in the years that I had reached out to my family doctors not having the support that I needed, I had found someone who was willing to listen and provide the support that I so desperately was looking for.
Looking back, I estimate that my journey through perimenopause lasted roughly nine years. I say roughly because, as I mentioned in my previous post, I had my baby daughter at 44 years old, so I think it is fair to assume that I was probably in perimenopause when I got pregnant. My last period was at 54 and this gives me 10 years of dealing with the symptoms of perimenopause. As I mentioned before, this journey is very specific to each woman. Every woman experiences perimenopause and menopause differently. It's not a one size fits all situation.
I have realized that in order to live a more balanced and joyful life now that I am in post menopause, I have to approach my health in a very holistic way. During these 12 years of my journey, I have worked on doing my own research from trusted sources, I have work on myself focusing on my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health and wellbeing. This is not to say that there aren't still some rough days however, knowing that I have access to a variety of resources, makes me feel empowered and in control to a certain extend.
One of the most recent resources that I have found to help me cope with the stress and anxiety, which can be exacerbated by menopause, is the act of "Self Compassion". During one of my visits to my Osteopath, she talked to me about the work of Dr. Kristen Neff on Self Compassion. Since then, I have found myself paying more attention to the way I talk to myself, the way I care for myself and I also have tried to spread the word with my friends and loved ones about the importance of practicing "Self Compassion".
To you my friends, I want to tell you something that I learned from Dr. Neff: "Self Compassion is very different than Self Pity". What I have understood from Dr. Neff is that we should talk and treat ourselves the same way we would treat a dear friend when she is going through challenges, or when she is sad, or when she has made a mistake. When we treat ourselves with compassion and kindness, we are more likely to become more resilient and we are able to bounce back more easily from a difficult experience.
I would like to invite you to try it for yourself. Next time you are going through a challenging, frustrating, overwhelming or sad situation, practice "Self Compassion" and notice how you feel. If you would like to start experiencing a better way to manage the stresses that every day brings either from dealing with the many responsibilities as a care giver, or from the overwhelming load of news we watch on TV, or even from the different symptoms you may be experiencing from menopause, consider visiting Dr. Neff's website Self Compassion and let me know in the comments section if this blog resonates with you. Also, I would love to hear if you start practicing some "Self Compassion" and if so, how was your experience.
Remember that you are not alone. There are so many of us, women going through perimenopause and menopause, wanting to be heard and understood. Let's support each other! When you share your stories and experiences, we slowly can create a great community of wonderful women who can inspire our younger generations.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Until my next blog, with much love,
Adriana
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